The Big IF,, Or if I ever dated a guy.

Legal Disclaimer: I am not into dating Guys so the following is simply a figment of an overactive imagination driven by Espresso shots ,in other words ,"Ain't gonna happen Bub"

But IF 'I evah' did here are two scenarios , see if you can find the subtle differences between my preferences.

So we have agreed to an evening out. You will pick me up at such and such time ,. Reservations? Yes. We both have them yours are made for us at a quiet little restaurant and mine ? I will keep them to myself at this point.

Time to get ready , for me anyway, a long soak in a tub full of perfumed bubbles a slow dangerous search and shave to achieve the silky smooth skin that even I find desirable on me.

Moisturizer, lots of it and makeup, just enough .

Now begins the ordeal, foundation, eyeliner, eyeshadow, mascara. Scratch that we'll do false eyelashes more of a kitten look shall we say (meow) some blush and lipstick, think I got it.

Oh, perfume , dab here and there the pulse points by the ears and neck a touch in the hollow of the throat a hint between the breast...forms, and perhaps just a tiny touch just below my belly button and above my, got it!. Not as if you will be in that region tonight but it helps a Girls confidence.

What to wear what to wear ? Silly question ,start with black lace, Thank You Miss Page! Garter and stockings or panty hose? Hmmm love my garters , sexy, classic, ease of access, well this is only our first date soooo, black silky panty hose it is, besides then I can wear my skirt a bit tighter can't have the women in the restaurant noticing those garter clips, tongues may wag. Black pencil skirt ending just above the knees long sleeved blouse in emerald green, compliments my eyes you know, and then, and then, black patent heels shall we say about four inches? Wig goes on and gets some touch up necklace rings bangles, not too much.

Perfect

Oh my and just in time. The doorbell rings.

And there you stand...mmmmm. Black cashmere sport coat , nice tie , maybe over dessert we can discuss some creative uses for your tie, (hope I didn't say that out loud) clean starched white shirt and , cuff links, I just love French, cuffs. Not too impressed with the blue jeans but they do pair well with the rest AND, your belt matches your shoes. OMG do I detect the scent of Oak Moss by Musgo Real? And is that combed hair???

Will you excuse me for a moment , I need to put on a new pair of panties...be right back!

I put the flowers, of course, in a vase and set the wine, we have a winner , in the rack. Later...perhaps??? Shall we go.

Next scenario:

Okay fast forward to the door bell...

And there you stand....uuuuuu. Nice, hoodie? Oh and cargo shorts still a bit of a Boy Scout are we? At least your T shirt has a pocket and a logo and some stains. Five o'clock shadow from a week or two back and your hair style by Yankees baseball cap. Oh and that cologne you are bathed in what do they call that? Pick up Game at the Y? And what, there's more? You brought some brewskis and thought we could watch the game together!

Do you see this shiny black heel I'm wearing? You may have to have it surgically removed!!!

XO's Helen